Its about making memories worth repressing
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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