how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
