we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
