Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
