I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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