so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
