yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I will be naked everywhere
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
