Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
