As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
