i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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