I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize