thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
The beer is more important than you right now.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
