So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize