He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
