friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
