how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
