yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
