I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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