I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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