epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
