speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
