How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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