I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
