Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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