He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
