i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
