If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
So squirting runs in the family.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Found the puke drawer
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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