just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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