This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
organizing the empties. That sober.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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