Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Less talking, more tequila
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Randomize
