Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
