are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Randomize
