you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
