yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize