Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
