I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
