thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize