Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
