I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
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