your parents love me but you hate me
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
