RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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