problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
