Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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