everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
We had to coat check the pizza.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
