I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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