so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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