what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
