he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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