i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
