I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize