yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
