eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I think I sprained my soul last night
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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