just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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