I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Too much gin, very little bucket
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
