the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
