I'm lost and stupid without you.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
