shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize