I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
