she woke up with a sticky ear
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize