Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize