The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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