i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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